{"id":6697,"date":"2021-03-30T15:05:07","date_gmt":"2021-03-30T15:05:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/?p=6697"},"modified":"2025-08-24T18:03:32","modified_gmt":"2025-08-24T15:03:32","slug":"coltu-pinguinului-69","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/?p=6697","title":{"rendered":"COL\u021aU PINGUINULUI"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Tanti Nu\u021ba Cucu s-a \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat minte s\u0103 mai fac\u0103 parte dintr-un partid politic, s-a trezit la 3 noaptea, s-a dus \u00een fundul gr\u0103dinii, s\u0103 nu carecumva s\u0103 trag\u0103 cu oichiul opozi\u021bia \u0219i a \u00eenceput s\u0103-\u0219i scrie DEMISIA. Cu litere mari, c\u0103 astea s\u00eent mai greu d\u0103 modificat la o adic\u0103. Bine, demisia era scris\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103 de la intrarea \u00een partid, c\u0103 a\u0219a s\u0103 procedeaz\u0103, semnat\u0103 gata, o ai \u00een alb, ca nu s\u0103 supere Pre\u0219edintele, cu P mare, s\u0103 nu se \u00eencrunte Pitbuleasa p\u0103 noi \u0219i s\u0103 ne taie d\u00een por\u021bia d\u0103 ajutoare d\u0103 la ue. Mai toate demisiile \u00een alb s\u00eent p\u0103strate \u00een sertar \u0219i scoase c\u00eend s\u0103 defecteaz\u0103 un membru \u0219i trece \u00een partea ailalt\u0103, prilej pentru libidino\u0219i s\u0103 zbiere din to\u021bi r\u0103runchii: AI TR\u0102DAT!<br \/>\nIo nu cred c\u0103 tanti Nu\u021ba Cucu a tr\u0103dat p\u0103 careva, c\u0103 e mai greu \u00een z\u00eelele noastre s\u0103 produci fiori p\u0103 \u0219ira spin\u0103rii \u00een partid. D\u0103 deraiat o fi deraiat ea, c\u0103 mai are momente d-astea c\u00eend sc\u00eer\u021b\u00eeie \u00een g\u00eendire \u0219i m\u0103 sun\u0103, noaptea, cic\u0103 s\u0103-i fac un consult pisologic, c\u0103 am diplom\u0103 d\u0103 merit \u0219i curs f\u0103cut la seral, c\u0103 la zi nu mai ierau locuri. Deci, m-am trezit la 3 noaptea, dar nu ca s-o spionez p\u0103 tanti Nu\u021ba, ci pentru c\u0103 s\u0103 luase curentu iar, \u0219i aia e ora la care m\u0103 scol s\u0103 scriu pagina nocturn\u0103 d\u00een jurnalul d\u0103 zi. Procedam a\u0219a \u0219i-n armat\u0103, da acolo era jurnal d\u0103 front, p\u0103 c\u00eend aici nu e nici un front, \u0219i nici dujmani. I-am cotropit p\u0103 to\u021bi d\u0103 c\u00eend s\u00eent la Putere \u0219i puterea e cu mine. Am cobor\u00eet d\u00een mansard\u0103 cu trabucu ascuns \u00een c\u0103u\u0219u palmei, s\u0103 nu m\u0103 vad\u0103 Lumini\u021ba d\u0103 la u\u0219a lui Aladin, am e\u0219it u\u0219or ca un fulg d\u0103 z\u0103pad\u0103 p\u0103 poart\u0103 \u0219i am fugit la gardul cucoanei. Scria \u0219i pl\u00eengea, iar al\u0103turi d\u0103 ea st\u0103 Culcu\u0219ica mea cu o batist\u0103 \u0219-un \u021bambal, d\u0103 unde dracu l-o fi luat, preg\u0103tit\u0103 s\u0103 fac\u0103 mi\u0219carea decisiv\u0103 la femei.<br \/>\n\u201eCe p\u0103rere o s\u0103-\u0219i fac\u0103 Conu despre atitudinea asta a mea, negativ\u0103 ca un nebun dez-legat d\u0103 pat? Nu e nici primu \u0219i nici ultimu partid d\u00een care m\u0103 ejectez, da parc\u0103 aici e mai nasol ca la pesedei. Acolo, cel pu\u021bin, \u0219edin\u021bele erau mai rare, c\u0103 s\u0103 f\u0103cea mai mult teren, aici mi s-a spus c\u0103 teren nu s\u0103 face, c\u0103 e partid d\u0103 intelectuali, nu se murd\u0103resc ei cu noroiul uli\u021belor neasfaltate d\u0103 Aladin. S\u0103 a\u0219tept\u0103m p\u00een\u0103 vin banii d\u0103 la Guvern \u0219i s\u0103-ncepem asfaltarea cu ab\u021bibilde d-alea personalizate, ca p\u0103 ma\u0219inile Poli\u021biei, s\u0103 vad\u0103 poporul c\u0103 muncim pentru el. Zii ceva, Culcu\u0219ico, d\u0103-mi o \u00eencurajare c\u0103 nu mai \u0219tiu ce forma\u021biune politic\u0103 e mai serioas\u0103 p\u0103 pia\u021ba d\u0103 vechituri a z\u00eelelor noastre&#8230;\u201d, pl\u00eengea cu sughi\u021buri tanti Nu\u021ba Cucu.<br \/>\n\u201eAuzi, soro, las\u0103-l \u00eencolo p\u0103 Conu, c\u0103 \u0219tiu eu cum face. Abia a\u0219teapt\u0103 s\u0103 defecteze un membru d\u0103 partid ca s\u0103-l cheme la ordinea z\u00eelei \u0219i s\u0103 esplice, p\u0103 sticl\u0103, c\u0103, de fapt, partidul nu e bun, nu membrul. Partidul \u0219i organu d\u0103 conducere, c\u0103 la el tot timpul a fost organu d\u0103 vin\u0103. Eu z\u00eec s\u0103 semnezi indescifrabil \u0219i s\u0103-i l\u0103s\u0103m, diminea\u021b\u0103, demisia \u00een cutia po\u0219tal\u0103. S\u0103 vedem dup-aia la ce partid o duce, c\u0103 \u0219tii c\u0103 e priceput \u00een arta voiajelor politice f\u0103r\u0103 tichete d\u0103 vacan\u021b\u0103. Uite, pun batista p\u0103 \u021bambalul \u0103sta \u0219i-o s\u0103 vezi diminea\u021b\u0103 c\u0103 e plin d\u0103 lacrimile lui d\u0103 consolare mai ceva ca agentul zerozero\u0219apte, care-i face concuren\u021b\u0103 la ore mult mai bune d\u0103 audien\u021b\u0103.\u201d<br \/>\nAm revenit \u00een curte, c\u0103 venise curentu \u0219i m\u0103 vedeau \u021ba\u021bele d\u0103 peste gard, am urcat p\u0103 sc\u0103ri \u0219i am cobor\u00eet iar, c\u0103 uitasem s\u0103 sting trabucu, \u0219i-am tras scurt, o dat\u0103, c\u0103\u021baua d\u0103 coad\u0103, c\u0103 sfor\u0103ia mai abitir ca mine \u0219i-mi pierdeam concentrarea la scris.<br \/>\nM\u00eeine deschid cutia po\u0219tal\u0103 \u0219i v\u0103 spun ce \u0219i cum s\u0103 tr\u0103ie\u0219te-o via\u021b\u0103, \u00een partid, al vostru<br \/>\nPINGUINU CU MUSTA\u021a\u0102<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Tanti Nu&#539;a Cucu s-a &icirc;nv&#259;&#539;at minte s&#259; mai fac&#259; parte dintr-un partid politic, s-a trezit la 3 noaptea, s-a dus &icirc;n fundul gr&#259;dinii, s&#259; nu carecumva s&#259; trag&#259; cu oichiul opozi&#539;ia &#537;i a &icirc;nceput s&#259;-&#537;i scrie DEMISIA. Cu litere mari, c&#259; astea s&icirc;nt mai greu d&#259; modificat la o adic&#259;. Bine, demisia era scris&#259; &icirc;nc&#259; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5975,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[826],"tags":[2783,64,2050,475,539],"class_list":["post-6697","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coltu-pinguinului-2","tag-conu","tag-demisie","tag-partid","tag-pinguinu-cu-mustata","tag-tanti-nuta-cucu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6697","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6697"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6697\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13095,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6697\/revisions\/13095"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5975"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6697"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6697"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6697"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}