{"id":6455,"date":"2021-02-09T13:01:14","date_gmt":"2021-02-09T13:01:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/?p=6455"},"modified":"2025-08-24T18:02:48","modified_gmt":"2025-08-24T15:02:48","slug":"coltu-pinguinului-67","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/?p=6455","title":{"rendered":"COL\u021aU PINGUINULUI"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/?attachment_id=5975\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-5975\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-5975 alignright\" src=\"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/coltu.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"287\" height=\"276\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/coltu.jpg 287w, https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/coltu-250x240.jpg 250w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 287px) 100vw, 287px\" \/><\/a>\u201eM-am trezit cu Nu\u021ba Cucu\/C\u0103 vrea s\u0103-\u0219i fac\u0103 sepuku!\u201d, au fost vorbele cu care m-a trezit, dis d\u0103 diminea\u021b\u0103, Culcu\u0219ica mea, \u00eenainte de-a pleca la pia\u021b\u0103 \u00eentru lini\u0219tirea sporadic\u0103 a bur\u021bilor noastre, speriat\u0103 d\u0103 amploarea evenimentului care nu \u0219tiu dac\u0103 e bine sau nu s\u0103-l transmit \u00een direct, reluare \u0219i la SHARE p\u0103 socializarea z\u00eelelor noastre. P\u0103i cum a\u0219a? am \u00eentrebat p\u0103 Culcu\u0219ica, \u0219i a decis s\u0103-mi arate o scrisoare g\u0103sit\u0103 d\u0103 c\u0103\u021baua V\u00eenturica \u00een cutia po\u0219tal\u0103. Nu era de\u0219chis\u0103, c\u0103 o f\u0103cea praf javra, plus c\u0103 mirosea a parfum d\u0103 b\u0103rbat, a\u0219a, sanchi, la mi\u0219to!, finc\u0103 \u0219tia tanti Nu\u021ba Cucu c\u0103 c\u0103\u021baua mea e alergic\u0103 la masculinitatea femeilor cu care m\u0103 v\u0103d, a\u0219a c\u0103 m-am g\u00eendit s\u0103 dau ghes inimii mele palpit\u00eende s-o citeasc\u0103 \u0219i s-o transmit\u0103 \u0219i dv, cititorilor mei, p\u00een\u0103 la urm\u0103toarea apari\u021bie televizat\u0103. Fac precizarea c\u0103 am evitat p\u0103 c\u00eet posibil difuzarea imaginilor cu puternic impact emo\u021bional, adic\u0103 dac\u0103 nu s\u00eente\u021bi pe deplin s\u0103n\u0103to\u0219i s\u0103 nu carecumva s\u0103 be\u021bi dou\u0103 kile d\u0103 ap\u0103 p\u0103 zi, c\u0103 cresc cotele apelor \u0219i iar ies peturi p\u0103 golful Or\u0219ova:<br \/>\n\u201eCoane, nu mai poci! O p\u0103s\u0103ric\u0103 epilat\u0103 d\u0103 tot, care-a popos\u00eet la mine p\u0103 pervaz, c\u0103 la dumneata nu mai trage nici-o p\u0103s\u0103ric\u0103, c\u0103 la\u0219i scrumu acolo \u0219i asta \u021b\u00eene d\u0103 poluare, deci, o p\u0103s\u0103ric\u0103 mi-a \u0219optit, a\u0219a cum poate ea, c\u0103 cic\u0103 s\u0103-ntoarce DON COSTEL. Cum care? Fostu primarele. \u0218i nu s\u0103-ntoarce cu m\u00eena goal\u0103, c\u0103 r\u00eede lumea d\u0103 el, vine cu \u0103la micu, POKEMON, cum \u00eel alint\u0103 severinenii, la modul cel mai olimpian cu putin\u021b\u0103. Eu, \u00een cazul \u0103sta, \u00eemi fac sepuku. Adic\u0103 \u00eemi tai kuku, \u00een semn d\u0103 protest fa\u021b\u0103 de am-buteierea (sau ambutelierea, c\u0103 tot dracu \u0103la e!) fonc\u021biilor administrative d\u00een cadrul prim\u0103riei locale. Coane, nu s\u0103 mai poate! Ce s\u0103 mai facem cu \u00eenc\u0103 un loc doi? Avem unu care nu s\u0103 mai satur\u0103 \u0219i unu s\u0103tul gata, \u00een cazu d\u0103 fa\u021b\u0103, a\u0219a c\u0103 te-ntreb eu p\u0103 mata, c\u0103 le \u0219tii p\u0103 toate, d\u0103 la Adam la Eva \u0219i d\u0103 la Virgilic\u0103 la Mih\u0103i\u021b\u0103: B\u0103, nu v-ajunge? Ce mama kukului meu mai vre\u021bi? V-am votat cu am\u00eendou\u0103 m\u00eeinile c\u00eend a fost s\u0103 fie, s\u0103 nu carecumva s\u0103 m\u0103 prinde\u021bi cu m\u00eena-n ca\u0219caval \u0219i c\u00eend colo voi, locu unu \u0219i doi, vre\u021bi iar s\u0103 fi\u021bi DOI? Ave\u021bi noroc c\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103 nu-s \u00eencheiate negocierile PNL-USR la nivel d\u0103 jude\u021b, c\u0103 cic\u0103 nea pavele n-a terminat d\u0103-mpachetat bolul cu pixurile colorate care s\u0103 cer la Bucale, da \u0219i c\u00eend o pleca s\u0103 vezi spectacol d\u0103 pandemie, d\u0103 nu mai \u0219tie Pitbuleasa p\u0103 cine s\u0103 mu\u0219te. Sau s\u0103 ling\u0103, la o adic\u0103! Coane, ce z\u00eeci? Ne d\u0103m la d\u00een\u0219ii sau a\u0219tept\u0103m s\u0103 vedem votul d\u0103 joi? C\u0103 vine Valentin Dei \u0219i nu mai vreau s\u0103 fiu bulangeroas\u0103 ca anu trecut \u0219i s\u0103 nu primesc nimika. Eu z\u00eec s\u0103 ie\u0219i \u00een fa\u021b\u0103, c\u0103 d-aia e\u0219ti, al meu pisy,<br \/>\nPINGUINU CU MUSTA\u021a\u0102<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&bdquo;M-am trezit cu Nu&#539;a Cucu\/C&#259; vrea s&#259;-&#537;i fac&#259; sepuku!&rdquo;, au fost vorbele cu care m-a trezit, dis d&#259; diminea&#539;&#259;, Culcu&#537;ica mea, &icirc;nainte de-a pleca la pia&#539;&#259; &icirc;ntru lini&#537;tirea sporadic&#259; a bur&#539;ilor noastre, speriat&#259; d&#259; amploarea evenimentului care nu &#537;tiu dac&#259; e bine sau nu s&#259;-l transmit &icirc;n direct, reluare &#537;i la SHARE p&#259; socializarea z&icirc;lelor [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5975,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[826],"tags":[993,1506,61,2728,2727,539],"class_list":["post-6455","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coltu-pinguinului-2","tag-culcusica","tag-don-costel","tag-orsova","tag-pokemon","tag-sepuku","tag-tanti-nuta-cucu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6455","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6455"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6455\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13094,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6455\/revisions\/13094"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5975"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6455"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6455"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6455"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}