{"id":4174,"date":"2019-01-15T06:25:39","date_gmt":"2019-01-15T06:25:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/?p=4174"},"modified":"2019-04-06T12:05:14","modified_gmt":"2019-04-06T12:05:14","slug":"coltu-pinguinului-57","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/?p=4174","title":{"rendered":"Col\u021bu Pinguinului"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/?attachment_id=3039\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-3039\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-3039 alignright\" src=\"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/pinguin-300x150.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/pinguin-300x150.png 300w, https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/pinguin-250x125.png 250w, https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/pinguin.png 569w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a>Mi-am luat un trabuc la m\u00eena a doua, o cafea cu arom\u0103 d\u0103 ceai d\u0103 plante exotice, ca s\u0103 cread\u0103 lumea c\u0103 vin d\u00een maldivele Hinovei, pixu, carne\u021belul \u0219i am plecat la o teras\u0103, p\u0103 \u0219trase, s\u0103 fac bilan\u021bul anului care tocmai a trecut. D\u0103 la o vreme am cele mai bune inten\u021bii \u00een a dovedi stradalilor mei \u0219i conlocuitorilor c\u0103 o s\u0103 fiu d\u00een ce \u00een ce mai r\u0103u \u00een ce prive\u0219te politica, liderii \u0219i haki\u021bele lor. C\u00eend s\u0103 ies p\u0103 poart\u0103, hop, d\u0103 dup\u0103 gardul propriu, tanti Nu\u021ba Cucu, care avea-n m\u00een\u0103 un ziar local, f\u0103r\u0103 moguli \u0219i, \u0219treng\u0103re\u0219te, mi-a aruncat o ochead\u0103 p\u0103 sub pleoapa oichelarilor:<br \/>\nCoane, fii anten\u0103 aici la mine, las\u0103 dracului televizuinile unde ai impresia c\u0103 hibernezi \u0219i audien\u021bezi moralul, \u0219i mai bine f\u0103-\u021bi un ziar d-\u0103sta, print, c\u0103 e\u0219ti mai procops\u00eet. Uite, par egzamplu, m\u0103 uitai la localul \u0103sta \u0219i pot s\u0103 spun c\u0103, \u00een multe privin\u021be, te bate la cum vede el lucrurile \u0219i la cum le desf\u0103\u0219oar\u0103, p\u0103 urm\u0103, popula\u021biei. Nu e ca p\u0103 sticl\u0103, s\u0103 te vad\u0103 lumea c\u0103 e\u0219ti grav, d\u0103 parc-ai fi o mironisi\u021b\u0103 de-aia d\u0103 s\u0103 epileaz\u0103 cu lama escavatorului, ba, d\u0103 la o vreme ai cam \u00eenceput s\u0103 tu\u0219e\u0219ti, \u021bi s\u0103 umfl\u0103 gu\u0219a, \u0219oriciul obrazului nu mai are culoarea aia 4K, iar fullha\u0219deul televizorului parc\u0103 nu te mai prinde. Plus c\u0103 mai ai \u0219i ni\u0219te aere comerciale, mai mult b\u0103\u0219ini \u00een reluare, c\u0103-n direct n-ai curaj, adic\u0103 mai oftezi d\u0103 dou\u0103-trei ori, ca fata mare la muls, ar\u0103\u021bi cu de\u0219tu fel \u0219i fel d\u0103 \u00eenchipuiri personale, ce mai, nu mai \u021b\u00eene vr\u0103jeala asta cu \u00eendobitocirea celor care stau \u00een fa\u021ba ecranului, oric\u00eet d\u0103 mult\u0103 publicitate ai avea \u00een spatele lui. Vea\u021ba lui matale p\u0103 sticl\u0103 dureaz\u0103 at\u00eet c\u00eet e, p\u0103 c\u00eend tip\u0103rit e altceva. Eu z\u00eec s\u0103 te primene\u0219ti frumos ca s\u0103-\u021b fac o poz\u0103 d\u0103 editorialist, s\u0103-\u021b dai cu briliantin\u0103-n frez\u0103, ca s\u0103 vad\u0103 lumea c\u0103 ai, \u0219i s\u0103 cau\u021bi \u00een arhiva matale d\u0103 poze una de c\u00eend te jucai cu d\u00eensa-n \u021b\u0103r\u00een\u0103, c\u0103 a\u0219a s\u0103 poart-acuma. Cu c\u00eet e poza mai t\u00een\u0103r\u0103, cu at\u00eet e respectivul mai citit. Ziarul po\u021bi s\u0103-l bagi \u00een cutiile po\u0219tale ale stradalnicilor matale, plus c\u0103 la terasa unde z\u00eeci c\u0103 bei cafeaua, dar, d\u0103 fapt faci defilare d\u0103 imagine, lumea o s\u0103 se-ntrebe ce-ai mai scris. La televizor a\u0219a-i c\u0103 nu te-ntreab\u0103 nimeni? C\u0103 s-a scumpit bipul \u00een toate re\u021belele \u0219i \u0219tie lumea c\u0103 cu tax\u0103 invers\u0103 nu vrei s\u0103 lucrezi. Nici n-are cine, c\u0103 la ora aia oamenii dorm. Sau fac ziare, na!<br \/>\nN\u0103roada asta de tanti Nu\u021ba Cucu cam are dreptate \u00een unele kestii neprotocolare, d-astea, gen, ia-le oichii la fraieri cu ziarul color, c\u0103 tehnologia evolueaz\u0103, azi e\u0219ti 4K, m\u00eeine ajungi ca pixelul lui B\u0103se, r\u0103t\u0103citor printre stelele sufletului telespectatorilor care schimb\u0103 canalul. Eu a\u0219 cam vrea s\u0103 fiu un fel d\u0103 Fuego al micului ecran, f\u0103r\u0103 brad, c\u0103-l comand d\u0103 la emag \u00eempodobit gata, dar, la fel d\u0103 bine a\u0219 vrea s\u0103 fiu \u0219i \u00een fel d\u0103 pui al lui \u0218eicaru, d\u0103 la Or\u0219ova, d\u0103 p\u0103 dealul \u0103la. O s\u0103 fac un sondaj d\u0103 opinie s\u0103 vedem care \u021b\u00eene cu mine \u0219i care cu tanti Nu\u021ba Cucu.<br \/>\nS\u00eent perpelex, ca o caraga\u021b\u0103 b\u0103lt\u0103rea\u021b\u0103 l\u0103t\u0103rea\u021b\u0103 \u0219i orbea\u021b\u0103, c-o ditamai strung\u0103rea\u021b\u0103 b\u0103g\u0103rea\u021b\u0103-n gogonea\u021b\u0103, totul pentr-o \u0219ugubea\u021b\u0103 d\u0103 vecin\u0103, \u0219i o cotinea\u021b\u0103 soa\u021b\u0103, purt\u0103rea\u021b\u0103 d\u0103 vea\u021b\u0103, hai c\u0103-s tare,<br \/>\nPINGUINU CU MUSTA\u021a\u0102<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mi-am luat un trabuc la m&icirc;na a doua, o cafea cu arom&#259; d&#259; ceai d&#259; plante exotice, ca s&#259; cread&#259; lumea c&#259; vin d&icirc;n maldivele Hinovei, pixu, carne&#539;elul &#537;i am plecat la o teras&#259;, p&#259; &#537;trase, s&#259; fac bilan&#539;ul anului care tocmai a trecut. D&#259; la o vreme am cele mai bune inten&#539;ii &icirc;n a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3039,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[826],"tags":[1914,1911,1913,1912,539],"class_list":["post-4174","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coltu-pinguinului-2","tag-dinsa","tag-fuego","tag-hakite","tag-kestii","tag-tanti-nuta-cucu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4174","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4174"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4174\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3039"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4174"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4174"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4174"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}