{"id":4034,"date":"2018-11-08T19:14:10","date_gmt":"2018-11-08T19:14:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/?p=4034"},"modified":"2018-11-08T19:14:10","modified_gmt":"2018-11-08T19:14:10","slug":"coltu-pinguinului-54","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/?p=4034","title":{"rendered":"Coltu&#8217; PinGuinULui"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/?attachment_id=3039\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-3039\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-3039 alignright\" src=\"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/pinguin.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"214\" height=\"107\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/pinguin.png 569w, https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/pinguin-300x150.png 300w, https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/pinguin-250x125.png 250w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 214px) 100vw, 214px\" \/><\/a>Pot s\u0103 v\u0103 spun, cu m\u00eena p\u0103 p\u0103s\u0103rica p\u0103cii, care la noi p\u0103 \u0219 trase e cam neagr\u0103 \u0219 i ofticat\u0103 r\u0103u, c\u0103 d\u0103 ce a inaugurat domn PREFECT ceasul \u0219i n-a t\u0103iat panglica la cuc, cic\u0103, c\u0103 eu, unul, am trecut d\u0103 toate etapele astea cu boala vacii nebune, gripa aviar\u0103, boala oii nebune \u0219 i altele care vor ap\u0103rea \u00een cur\u00eend, da nu m\u0103 vor g\u0103si acas\u0103, c\u0103 aici e \u0219 chepsisul, s\u0103 nu stai acas\u0103. D\u0103 chestia asta m-a convins tanti Nu\u021ba Cucu, c\u0103 ea e prima care pleac\u0103 \u0219 i p\u0103 care nu a prins-o nici o molim\u0103 \u00een ultimii 63 d\u0103 ani de c\u00eend e vecina mea.<\/p>\n<p>Coane, fii antena 4, c\u0103 1,2 \u0219i 3 s\u00eent date, cic\u0103 o s\u0103 vin\u0103, c\u00eet de cur\u00eend, boala vecinului care st\u0103 capr\u0103, a\u0219a c\u0103 ai grij\u0103 cum stai \u0219i p\u0103 unde stai, la ce ore \u0219i mai ales nu ie\u0219i \u00een eviden\u021b\u0103 cu auden\u021ba, c\u0103 cic\u0103 dac\u0103 te prinde domn Ministru te \u0219i mulge de-\u021bi ies oichii p\u0103 urechi, ca s\u0103 vezi mai bine banii d\u0103 la ue c\u00eend \u021bi-i aduce po\u0219ta\u0219ul acas\u0103, \u00een plic sigilat. De\u0219i, dac\u0103 stau bine s\u0103 m\u0103 g\u00eendesc, la matale-n curte nu mai gui\u021beaz\u0103 nici un porc, nu mai c\u00eent\u0103 nici un coco\u0219, g\u0103inile s\u0103 ou\u0103-n modul silen\u021bios \u0219i c\u00eeinele latr\u0103 numai \u00een g\u00eend, c\u00eend dormi mata, ca s\u0103 nu-\u021bi afecteze procesul creativo-literar care te b\u00eentuie cum ne b\u00eentuie p\u0103 noi americanii cu halouinul, de au ajuns \u0219i masca\u021bii s\u0103 se plictiseasc\u0103. S\u0103 nu z\u00eeci p\u0103 urm\u0103 c\u0103 nu te-am avertizat, c\u0103 a\u0219a a s\u0103rit la bereg\u0103\u021bile mele \u0219i Bogdaprostu, dup\u0103 ce a fost el la mas\u0103 la ne\u0219te vecini \u0219i l-au trat \u0103ia cu mici d\u0103 porc, oaie \u0219i alte E-uri de n-a mai v\u0103zut o s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00een\u0103 cu oichiul drept, \u0103la d\u0103 sticl\u0103. Eu am \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat s\u0103 m\u0103 feresc de vicisitudinele ve\u021bii noastre d\u0103 am\u0103r\u0103\u0219teni provinciali\u0219i d\u0103 fiecare dat\u0103 c\u00eend bate la poart\u0103 Locala, s\u0103-i ar\u0103t porcu dac\u0103 tr\u0103ie\u0219te, oaia dac\u0103 rumeg\u0103 \u0219i capra vecinului, i-am trimis la mata, c\u0103, dac\u0103 e\u0219ti literat, nu au coraj s\u0103 s\u0103 lege, a\u0219a, tam-nesam d\u0103 o persoan\u0103 fizic\u0103 care s\u0103 d\u0103 la Primare.<\/p>\n<p>Unii d\u00een ei mi-au l\u0103sat \u0219i c\u0103r\u021bile matale, s\u0103 le semneze cu autograf olograf Culcu\u0219ica, c\u0103 ea e mai cool, le-am luat \u0219i banii p\u0103 autografe dar i-am dat \u00eenapoi la taxe \u0219i impozite, c\u0103 madama matale s\u0103 semna tot Pinguinu cu musta\u021b\u0103, ori \u0103\u0219tia n-au v\u0103zut musta\u021b\u0103 la o dam\u0103 a\u0219a focoas\u0103 ca a mata nici \u00een filmele d\u0103 p\u0103 camerele d\u0103 supraveghere. Uite, d\u0103 exemplu, ai v\u0103zut ce n\u0103zb\u00eetii face \u0103la micu d\u0103 la Prim\u0103rie, Caniel, de a ajuns s\u0103-l \u00eentrebe d\u0103 cartea \u0219i certificatu d\u0103 \u00eenmatriculare locala c\u00eend intr\u0103-n sediu? Cic\u0103 vrea s\u0103 dea premii la copiii d\u0103 gr\u0103dini\u021b\u0103, c\u0103 ei s\u00eent viitorul. Doamne, ap\u0103r\u0103 \u0219i p\u0103ze\u0219te, p\u0103i prezentul nostru e ferfeni\u021b\u0103, \u0219i c\u00eend spun asta m\u0103 refer la molimile astea care ne dau t\u00eercoale \u0219i ne las\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 porci, vaci, oi \u0219i vecini. C\u0103 capre n-avem voie s\u0103 cre\u0219tem la ora\u0219, c\u0103-i muncipiu.<br \/>\nStimabilo, las\u0103 p\u0103l\u0103vr\u0103geala \u0219i hai s\u0103 vedem cum aten\u021bion\u0103m popula\u021bia c\u0103, dup\u0103 ciuma ro\u0219ie, codurile portocalii \u0219i lehamitea galben\u0103, d\u0103 care o s\u0103 sc\u0103p\u0103m noi, c\u0103 are Europa leacuri, nu ne las\u0103 a\u0219a, deci, hai s\u0103 spunem la oamenii care au mai r\u0103mas aici c\u0103 viitorul nu s\u0103 face cu premii, \u0219i nici prezentu cu viitor. Ori faci acuma ce trebuie s\u0103 faci, ori las\u0103-te d\u0103 imagine. C\u0103 imaginile au \u0219i purici, eu am p\u0103\u021bit-o, purici care au grea\u021b\u0103, da nu la &#8230; PINGUINU CU MUSTA\u021a\u0102<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Pot s&#259; v&#259; spun, cu m&icirc;na p&#259; p&#259;s&#259;rica p&#259;cii, care la noi p&#259; &#537; trase e cam neagr&#259; &#537; i ofticat&#259; r&#259;u, c&#259; d&#259; ce a inaugurat domn PREFECT ceasul &#537;i n-a t&#259;iat panglica la cuc, cic&#259;, c&#259; eu, unul, am trecut d&#259; toate etapele astea cu boala vacii nebune, gripa aviar&#259;, boala oii nebune [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3039,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[826],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4034","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coltu-pinguinului-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4034","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4034"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4034\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3039"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4034"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4034"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4034"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}