{"id":3106,"date":"2017-11-25T18:32:21","date_gmt":"2017-11-25T18:32:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/?p=3106"},"modified":"2017-11-25T18:33:09","modified_gmt":"2017-11-25T18:33:09","slug":"coltu-pinguinului-39","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/?p=3106","title":{"rendered":"COLTU&#8217; PINGUINULUI"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>M-a lovit, asear\u0103, o frunz\u0103, care c\u0103dea-n asfin\u021bit d\u0103 toamn\u0103 fl\u0103m\u00eend\u0103 de am crezut c\u0103 mi s\u0103 tope\u0219te inspira\u021bia \u0219i r\u0103m\u00een cu cortexul nevindecat. Era ceva-n ea, \u00een frunz\u0103, un miros d\u0103 anotimp coclit, nici cald, nici rece, care m\u0103-ndemna la inflexiuni poetice cum numai mintea mea poate s\u0103 le sloboade.<a href=\"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/?attachment_id=3039\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-3039\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-3039 alignright\" src=\"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/pinguin-300x150.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/pinguin-300x150.png 300w, https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/pinguin-250x125.png 250w, https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/pinguin.png 569w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a> N\u0103uc, am s\u00eem\u021b\u00eet nevoia s\u0103 mai las la o parte treburile cotidiene, adic\u0103 scrisul, \u0219i s\u0103 lenevesc ca motanu \u0103la f\u0103r\u0103 coad\u0103 p\u0103 care mi l-a adus tanti Nu\u021ba Cucu plocon, c\u0103 i-am rezolvat, \u00een parte, o chestie legat\u0103 d\u0103 pensia ei de urma\u0219 al revolu\u021biei. Nu mai stau acuma s\u0103 v\u0103 explic eu ce este via\u021ba, d\u00een ce s\u0103 compune \u0219i cu ce se m\u0103n\u00eenc\u0103, c\u0103 a\u0219tept s\u0103 vin\u0103 Bogdaprostu cu ultimele nout\u0103\u021bi d\u00een \u0219trasse, c\u0103 eu am fost plecat ni\u021bel p\u0103 alte meleaguri \u0219i am cam pierdut contactu cu localul.<br \/>\nCoane, fii anten\u0103 la mine aici\u0219a, am o afacere beton pentru mata. M-a rugat unu pe care nu \u021bi-l spui, c\u0103 vrea ca s\u0103 fii brandu c\u00eerciumii lui, te pl\u0103te\u0219te lunar, plus faptul c\u0103-\u021bi pune la dispozi\u021bie tutun, cafea \u0219i ne\u0219te ap\u0103 d\u0103 la robinet, c\u0103 aia plat\u0103 e scump\u0103 \u0219i-\u021bi d\u0103 numai dac\u0103 vii mata cu l\u0103m\u00eeile de-acas. Po\u021bi s\u0103 te duci acolo oric\u00eend vrei, d\u0103 la 8 la 23, c\u0103 e moka, po\u021bi s\u0103 scrii operele matale, po\u021bi s\u0103 scrii \u0219i p\u0103 pere\u021bii c\u00eerciumii, da numai cu culoare ro\u0219ie, s\u0103 n-aib\u0103 proprietaru probleme d\u0103 partid, dac\u0103 m\u0103-n\u021belegi, chestia e s\u0103 stai numai la o mas\u0103 anume, aia care d\u0103 cu geamu-nspre strad\u0103, s\u0103 te vaz\u0103 clien\u021bii \u0219i s\u0103 dea buzna. Crede-m\u0103, e o afacere extrem d\u0103 profitabil\u0103 pentru mata. Pentru el nu \u0219tiu cum o fi, c\u0103 doar vezi cum e cu criza asta \u0219i cu \u0103\u0219tia d\u0103 la putere, care nu te mai bag\u0103-n sam\u0103, de-ai ajuns, acas\u0103, s\u0103-ntorci televizorul c\u00eend apar ei \u00een praimtaim. Nu e membru d\u0103 partid, a\u0219a c\u0103 nu-\u021bi face probleme d-astea. Ai voie, desigur, c\u0103 uitai s\u0103-\u021b spui, s\u0103 aduci \u0219i pe Culcu\u0219ica matale. care Culcu\u0219ic\u0103 n-are voie s\u0103 scrie, c\u0103 n-a ajuns \u00eenc\u0103 lanivelu matale d\u0103 telectualitate izb\u0103vitoare d\u00een p\u0103re\u021bi&#8230; N-ai voie cu amant\u0103, rude apropiate, adic\u0103 cum ar fi tanti Nu\u021ba Cucu, c\u0103 e \u0219i b\u0103tr\u00een\u0103, s\u0103r\u0103cu\u021ba, nu ai voie cu produse d-acas\u0103, d\u0103 la matale, \u0219i, \u00een special, nu ai voie cu expir\u0103ri, de oricare ar fi. Ce mai, e chilipir, spune, te bagi?<br \/>\nP\u0103 moment mi-a sur\u00ees ideea, era ea cam par\u0219iv\u0103, da ce s\u0103 faci, asta-i via\u021ba, ce, po\u021bi s\u0103 te lup\u021bi cu ea \u0219i vicisitudinile ei? Taman c\u00eend d\u0103deam cu zaru s\u0103 v\u0103d ce-mi iese-n cale, sun\u0103 telefonu: Bun\u0103 ziua, vreau s\u0103 v\u0103 anun\u021b c\u0103 a\u021bi c\u00ee\u0219tigat gratis, adic\u0103 free, un loc \u00een localul nostru, vreme d\u0103 un an d\u0103 zile. Noi pl\u0103tim tot ce consuma\u021bi, mai pu\u021bin dup\u0103 ora 20, c\u00eend ne pleac\u0103 clien\u021bii la un alt local, tot la nostru, s\u0103 vad\u0103 cum arat\u0103 la fa\u021b\u0103, burt\u0103 \u0219i tupeu brendu p\u0103 care nu vi-l spunem, c\u0103 e surpriz\u0103. Dac\u0103 s\u00eente\u021bi de acord, ap\u0103sa\u021bi tasta 1. C\u00eend s-ap\u0103s, hop, unghia d\u0103 la degetu mic s\u0103 atins\u0103 d\u0103 baterie, ap\u0103ru un sclipici care era s\u0103-mi dea foc la barb\u0103, musta\u021b\u0103, cioc \u0219i alte alea folositoare imaginii mele, \u0219i se opri convorbirea, telefonul \u0219i promo\u021bia. Bogdaprostu r\u00eedea \u0219i se t\u0103v\u0103lea p\u0103 jos d\u0103 fericire, tanti Nu\u021ba Cucu chiuia d\u0103 zor, c\u0103 auzise tot, c\u0103 era d\u0103\u0219chis geamu d\u0103 la mansard\u0103, numai Culcu\u0219ica mea s\u0103 dezvelise ca foaia unui aluat d\u0103 musaca d\u0103 cartofi, perpelit\u0103 p-o parte ciudat d\u0103 pervers\u0103, p\u0103 care-o halise Bogdaprostu alalt\u0103ieri, da la alt\u0103 c\u00eercium\u0103. O s\u0103-mi iau alt telefon \u0219i o s\u0103-mi tai \u0219i unghia care-mi stricase \u0219usta. Via\u021ba asta-i o verdea\u021b\u0103, lua\u021bi aminte ce v\u0103 spune-aici<br \/>\nPINGUINU CU MUSTA\u021a\u0102<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>M-a lovit, asear&#259;, o frunz&#259;, care c&#259;dea-n asfin&#539;it d&#259; toamn&#259; fl&#259;m&icirc;nd&#259; de am crezut c&#259; mi s&#259; tope&#537;te inspira&#539;ia &#537;i r&#259;m&icirc;n cu cortexul nevindecat. Era ceva-n ea, &icirc;n frunz&#259;, un miros d&#259; anotimp coclit, nici cald, nici rece, care m&#259;-ndemna la inflexiuni poetice cum numai mintea mea poate s&#259; le sloboade. N&#259;uc, am s&icirc;m&#539;&icirc;t nevoia [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3039,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[826],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3106","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coltu-pinguinului-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3106","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3106"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3106\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3039"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3106"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3106"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3106"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}