{"id":3097,"date":"2017-11-10T09:23:16","date_gmt":"2017-11-10T09:23:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/?p=3097"},"modified":"2017-11-10T09:29:06","modified_gmt":"2017-11-10T09:29:06","slug":"coltupinguinului","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/?p=3097","title":{"rendered":"COLTU&#8217; PINGUINULUI &#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/?attachment_id=3039\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-3039\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-3039 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/pinguin-300x150.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/pinguin-300x150.png 300w, https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/pinguin-250x125.png 250w, https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/pinguin.png 569w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a>Coane, nu \u0219tiu ce naiba am la linguric\u0103, c\u0103 m-am trez\u00eet az noapte ud flea\u0219c\u0103. O visasem p\u0103 coana matale, Culcu\u0219ica, \u00een ipostaze d\u0103 care mi-e \u0219i ru\u0219ine s\u0103 le pomenesc, \u0219i anume vorbea la col\u021b d\u0103 strada ailalt\u0103, nu a mata, cu nea Milogogu \u0219i cu tanti Nu\u021ba Cucu, \u00een \u0219oapt\u0103. Eu n-am auz\u00eet nimic, da m-am dus a doua z\u00ee la locali \u0219i am luat \u00eenregistrarea d\u0103 p\u0103 camerele de supraveghere, c\u0103 au sunet stereo. Coane, e groas\u0103 r\u0103u. Vorbea d\u0103 un fel d\u0103 emisiune d\u0103 promovare a capacit\u0103\u021bilor telectuale literar artistice \u0219i am prins a\u0219a, d\u00een zbor, constituirea unui cenaclu literar d\u0103 cartier, intitulat HARIPA. Pomenea ceva d\u0103 o r\u0103scruce care trebuie dotat\u0103 cu sens giratoriu, c\u0103 a\u0219a e mai bine, s\u0103 degivreaz\u0103 circula\u021bia manuscriselor mai u\u0219or spre sponsori, mai cu sam\u0103 c\u0103 cic\u0103 umbl\u0103 unii, mai mult mor\u021bi dec\u00e2t vii, \u0219i mai mult be\u021bi dec\u00eet treji, s\u0103 re\u00eenvie \u0219pri\u021bul sau spiritul, c\u0103 n-am auzit bine d\u00een cauza \u021b\u00een\u021barilor care d\u0103deau t\u00eercoale camerelor 180 d\u0103 grade, cultural al ora\u0219ului. Hai s-o punem d-un proiect, s\u0103 le stea inima-n pept d\u0103 admira\u021bie \u0219i s\u0103 culegem laurii. Vorbesc eu cu primaru s\u0103 ne fac\u0103 \u0219i ne\u0219te statui, c\u0103 \u0103lea d\u0103 p\u0103 Cri\u0219an au \u00eenceput s\u0103 rugineasc\u0103 \u0219i e p\u0103cat s\u0103 nu l\u0103s\u0103m ora\u0219ului mo\u0219tenirea noastr\u0103 cea mai d\u0103 pre\u021b: creierul.<br \/>\nCam asta a fost diz\u0103rta\u021bia Bogdaprostului la telefon, d\u0103 la 5 diminea\u021ba, taman c\u00eend m\u0103 preg\u0103team s\u0103 ies cu cafeaua p\u0103 mansard\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 trag d\u00een \u021bigara aferent\u0103 p\u00een\u0103 nu apare tanti Nu\u021ba Cucu cu b\u0103rz\u0103unelile ei matinale privitoare la starea d\u0103 fapt a \u021b\u0103rii, a str\u0103zii, a mea \u0219i a lui Daddy Dragnea, personaj care a ajuns s-o obsedeze mai r\u0103u ca Ilievici \u0219i ai lui prost\u0103naci d\u0103 la guvernare.<br \/>\nP\u00een cartier am v\u0103zut eu c\u0103 zboar\u0103 liberi ne\u0219te flutura\u0219i alb negru p\u0103 care scria HARIPA a\u0219a, mai artistic dec\u00eet coada porumbelului p\u0103cii, da am crezut c\u0103 e reclam\u0103 la ultima farmacie ap\u0103rut\u0103, \u0219i anume aia care s\u0103 ocup\u0103 mai mult d\u0103 inima hemoroizilor dec\u00eet de ei, d\u0103 fapt. M-am \u00eentors \u00een dormitor \u0219i am c\u0103utat \u00een capotu Culcu\u0219ic\u0103i dovezi ale tr\u0103d\u0103rii ei. Nimic! \u00cen lenjeria intim\u0103 nu cred c\u0103 le avea, c\u0103 nu poart\u0103, d-aia am nop\u021bi \u00een care m\u0103 ia cu c\u0103lduri \u0219i visez numai ro\u0219u, ca taurii d\u0103 la Pamplona care miros a Belladonna! Am cobor\u00eet la cutia po\u0219tal\u0103 \u0219i acolo, ce s\u0103 vezi, am dat peste o bro\u0219ur\u0103 colorat\u0103 \u021bip\u0103tor, care \u00eendemna p\u0103c\u0103to\u0219ii s\u0103 nu mai preacurveasc\u0103, cu oichii, cu g\u00eendul sau cu vecina d\u0103 al\u0103turi. \u0218i dup-aia erau \u00een\u0219irate circa 12 porunci d\u0103 baz\u0103 pentru un trai fericit al\u0103turi d\u0103 persoana iubit\u0103, printre care cel mai d\u0103 pre\u021b era \u0103la cu nepurtatul lenjeriei intime, ca s\u0103 nu vad\u0103 consortul (sau consoarta) c\u0103 n-ai nimic d\u0103 ascuns. Am \u00eemp\u0103turit frumos bro\u0219ura s\u0103 nu carecumva s-o ia c\u0103\u021baua-n din\u021bi \u0219i s\u0103-mi strice pasien\u021bele d\u0103 egocentric ce s\u00eent, \u0219i am urcat \u00een dormitor unde Culcu\u0219ica s\u0103-ntorsese p\u0103 partea cealalt\u0103, dezvelind o coaps\u0103 care mirosea a frunze d\u0103 toamn\u0103 zbur\u0103t\u0103cite-n haripa unui anotimp care m\u0103 face s\u0103 l\u0103crimez seara, c\u0103 diminea\u021ba fumez. Bag sam\u0103 c\u0103 m-am \u00eenconjurat de nebuni tomnatici, Bogdaprostu \u0219i Milogogu, care au uitat s\u0103 dea ceasul \u00eenapoi. D\u0103 mult n-am mai visat un curcubeu, adev\u0103rata chintesen\u021b\u0103 a st\u0103rii mele d\u0103 om cultivat, grav \u0219i parc\u0103, uneori, prea afectat d\u0103 sentimentele alb negru ale unei lumi care nu-mi \u00een\u021belege karma. A\u0219a \u0219i cu HARIPA asta, care, dac\u0103 apare f\u0103r\u0103 mine, o s\u0103-mi las o barb\u0103 crea\u021b\u0103, s\u0103 se sparie, \u00een fine, \u0219i<br \/>\nPINGUINU CU MUSTA\u021a\u0102<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Coane, nu &#537;tiu ce naiba am la linguric&#259;, c&#259; m-am trez&icirc;t az noapte ud flea&#537;c&#259;. O visasem p&#259; coana matale, Culcu&#537;ica, &icirc;n ipostaze d&#259; care mi-e &#537;i ru&#537;ine s&#259; le pomenesc, &#537;i anume vorbea la col&#539; d&#259; strada ailalt&#259;, nu a mata, cu nea Milogogu &#537;i cu tanti Nu&#539;a Cucu, &icirc;n &#537;oapt&#259;. Eu n-am auz&icirc;t [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3039,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[826],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3097","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coltu-pinguinului-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3097","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3097"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3097\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3039"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3097"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3097"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3097"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}