Am observat c\u0103 mintea a-nceput s\u0103 fac\u0103 celulit\u0103, o form\u0103 d-aia telectual\u0103, care am \u00een\u021b\u0103les eu d\u00een karma lui Bogdaprostu c\u0103 afecteaz\u0103 grav doza d\u0103 \u00eencredere \u00een r\u00eendul popula\u021biei. Az noapte m-am trez\u00eet, am oprit aeru condi\u021bionat \u0219i am chemat-o p\u0103 tanti Nu\u021ba Cucu s\u0103-mi fac\u0103 v\u00eent cu operele mele re\u00eentregite, ad\u0103ugite \u0219i reeditate, ca s\u0103 nu uite cartieru c\u0103-s rud\u0103 cu Gregaru d\u00een cartieru ailalt.
\nCoane, r\u0103posatu meu se mai v\u0103ita a\u0219a d\u0103 c\u0103ldur\u0103 ca matale, da el nu scria z\u00ee \u0219i noapte chestii d-astea scriitorice\u0219ti. Bine c\u0103 m\u0103 chema\u0219i c\u0103 \u0219-a\u0219a visam str\u00eemb, se f\u0103cea c\u0103 Culcu\u0219ica matale cerea drept d\u0103 autor p\u0103 restul operelor p\u0103 care ai de g\u00eend s\u0103 le scrii de-acu-nainte. Eu zic s\u0103-\u021bi faci retrospectiva DAC\u0102 DORI\u021aI S\u0102 RECITI\u021aI…, s\u0103 te despar\u021bi amiabil d\u0103 Culcu\u0219ica, da, a\u0219a, d\u0103 pamplezir, s\u0103 nu s\u0103 prind\u0103 criticii literari, s\u0103 intri \u00eentr-o rela\u021bie alambicat\u0103 cu nepoata veri\u0219orului celui de-al treilea unchi al matale \u0219i s\u0103 cobori mai mult printre oamenii str\u0103zii noastre, c\u0103 au cam \u00eebnceput s\u0103-\u021bi duc\u0103 dorul de c\u00eend te-nv\u00eer\u021bi ca titirezu prin malluri \u00een c\u0103utare de aer condi\u021bionat moka, ca la pozele cu arsenie poca.
\nTanti Nu\u021ba, las\u0103 la o parte c\u0103delni\u021b\u0103rile mata zilnice \u0219i hai s\u0103 vedem ce mai putem face pentru \u021b\u0103ri\u0219oara asta \u00eenconjurat\u0103 d\u00een toate p\u0103r\u021bile d\u0103 necalifica\u021bi \u00een ale scrisului. Uite, d\u0103 exemplu, nu pot cujeta \u00een libr\u0103rie c\u0103 n-avem libr\u0103rie. La calculator nu mai pot scrie o fraz\u0103 d\u00ee ambian\u021b\u0103 c\u0103 hop!, apare virusu \u0219i-mi d\u0103 pest\u0103 cap toat\u0103 suleimeneana pixului. P\u0103 str\u0103zile d\u00een strasse dau nas \u00een nas cu fel \u0219i fel d\u0103 conclouitori care m\u0103 privesc agale \u0219i s\u0103 minuneaz\u0103 d\u0103 faptul c\u0103, merg\u00eend ca un pinguin \u0219i puf\u0103ind p\u0103 n\u0103ri fum parc-a\u0219 fi moc\u0103ni\u021bu d\u0103 la \u0218i\u0219e\u0219ti, al lui nea Marian, primarele. S-a dus dracului orice urm\u0103 d\u0103 respect fa\u021b\u0103 d\u0103 Creator, fa\u021b\u0103 d\u0103 actul creator al mnealui \u0219i fa\u021b\u0103 de reitingu local. Nu Culcu\u0219ica e problema mea, sau drepturile d\u0103 autor, c\u0103, oricum, eu inventez, ci faptul c\u0103 m\u0103 bate g\u00eendul s\u0103 p\u0103r\u0103sesc miniurbea asta \u0219i s\u0103 m\u0103 mut, cu tot cu talent, undeva mai p\u0103 la reziden\u021bial, ca un veritabil c\u0103lug\u0103r d\u0103 p\u0103 muntele Athos. Uite, pesedeul pus\u0103 un premier care-mi stric\u0103 nop\u021bile, nu alta, adic\u0103 taman timpul \u00een care cream \u0219i eu o oper\u0103 demn\u0103 s\u0103 stea p\u0103 sertarele bibliotecilor rurale \u0219i urbane. S\u00eent probleme cu o mare \u00eenc\u0103rc\u0103tur\u0103 chintesen\u021bial\u0103, cu care m\u0103 adaptez greu…
\nBulversat\u0103 peste m\u0103sur\u0103, tanti Nu\u021ba Cucu l\u0103sase s\u0103-i scape o lacrim\u0103 d\u00een ochiul st\u00eeng, al d\u0103 sticl\u0103, semn c\u0103 c\u0103r\u021bile mele o transpiraser\u0103 d\u0103 tot, \u0219i conchise abrupt ca o pr\u0103pastie care se c\u0103sca \u00een fa\u021ba mea aidoma unei p\u0103duri virgine \u00een care nu \u0219tiai cine-i lupu, scufi\u021ba \u0219i v\u00een\u0103torul dac\u0103 stingeai lumina, a\u0219a d\u0103 mare era tenta\u021bia sexual\u0103.
\nD\u0103 la mansard\u0103 ap\u0103ru Culcu\u0219ica, bezmetic\u0103 ca o curc\u0103-n c\u0103utarea boabelor: Pipicu meu, ce drac faci la ora asta d\u00een noapte cu tanti p\u0103 trotuar? B\u0103, nu v\u0103 mai screme\u021bi c\u0103 nu v\u0103 face Mariusic\u0103 bulevard d\u00een strada asta nici dac\u0103-i scrii 3 c\u0103r\u021bi odat\u0103, d\u0103 la prolog, sumar, cuv\u00eent \u00eenainte \u0219i kone\u021b. Mai bine hai \u00een pat s\u0103 semn\u0103m acordul tripartit d\u0103 colaborare viitoare c\u0103 m\u00eeine-poim\u00eeine pleci la Bucale \u0219i r\u0103m\u00een nesatisf\u0103cut\u0103 d\u00een toate punctele d\u0103 vedere. D\u0103 la TRIPARTITU \u0103la mi s-a f\u0103cut grea\u021b\u0103, a\u0219a c\u0103 tanti Nu\u021ba Cucu iese d\u00een schem\u0103, al vostru,
\nPINGUINU CU MUSTA\u021a\u0102<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Am observat că mintea a-nceput să facă celulită, o formă d-aia telectuală, care am înțăles eu dîn karma lui Bogdaprostu că afectează grav doza dă încredere în rîndul populației. Az noapte m-am trezît, am oprit aeru condiționat și am chemat-o pă tanti Nuța Cucu să-mi facă vînt cu operele mele reîntregite, adăugite și reeditate, ca […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3039,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[826],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2876","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coltu-pinguinului-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2876","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2876"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2876\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13092,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2876\/revisions\/13092"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/3039"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2876"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2876"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2876"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}