A-nceput s\u0103 mi se-ncre\u021basc\u0103 musta\u021ba, d\u0103 la o vreme, \u0219i cauza e stresu pricinuit d\u0103 tanti Nu\u021ba Cucu \u0219i Culcu\u0219ica, dup\u0103 cum mi-a ghicit \u00een ultima mea carte Bogdaprostu.
\nCoane, bag sam\u0103 c\u0103 e\u0219ti sub influen\u021ba lupului dacic care st\u0103 melancolic p\u0103 steagu d\u0103 lupt\u0103 al str\u0103mo\u0219ilor no\u0219tri zamolxieni, adic\u0103 ai p\u0103r mult, da nu unde trebuie. Plus c\u0103 a-nceput s\u0103-\u021bi albeasc\u0103 \u0219i ai \u00eenceput s\u0103 sameni, p\u0103 alocuri, a viking zbur\u0103t\u0103cit p\u0103 meleagurile daco-tracice ale istoriei. Karma matale s\u0103 sprijin\u0103 p-un col\u021b d\u0103 mas\u0103 care, dac\u0103 nu ai pus p\u0103 ea tot ce trebuie necesar d-ale gurii, vei fi vr\u0103jit s\u0103 nu-\u021b mearg\u0103 binele, viitorul \u0219i infinitul lui. Z\u00eec s\u0103 rupem vraja asta stresant\u0103 care te doare ca reumatismu \u0219i s\u0103 \u00eencerc\u0103m s\u0103 g\u0103sim o cale de a sta \u00een calea celor care te vr\u0103jesc. Am citit eu \u00eentr-o carte \u0219aman\u0103 c\u0103 e bine s\u0103 te scoli diminea\u021ba la 5, \u00eenaintea coco\u0219ului (asta dac\u0103 ai, dac\u0103 nu ai, ar fi bine s\u0103 iei unu de la vecin c\u0103 \u0219i-a\u0219a-l dai ofrand\u0103), s\u0103 \u00eenconjori casa d\u0103 4 ori, f\u0103r\u0103 pauze publicitare \u0219i nici s\u0103 tragi d\u00een \u021b\u00eegare, descul\u021b d-un picior \u0219i cu un papuc d\u0103 dam\u0103 \u00een ailalt, \u00een pijamale, ca s\u0103 nu cread\u0103 vecinii c\u0103 cine \u0219tie ce ritual d\u0103 cre\u0219terea reitingului faci, s\u0103 ai \u00een m\u00eena st\u00eeng\u0103 un ou fiert \u0219i \u00een m\u00eena dreapt\u0103 unu nefiert. Asta e prima zi. \u00cen z\u00eeua a doua, faci invers, adic\u0103 \u00eenconjori casa d\u00een sens opus, f\u0103r\u0103 ou\u0103 \u00een m\u00eeini, dar \u00een schimbi cu m\u00eeinile ridicate-n sus scrii p\u0103 cerul gurii cu limba SHALALAH, ABDUL SALAM ALECU, BA\u0218THALO, CRAU-CRAU, FOAIE VERDE CA ASFALTU F\u0102-M\u0102 S\u0102 DEVIN UN ALTU! Faci cura asta vreme d\u0103 patru s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00eeni, dup\u0103 care bei un pahar d\u0103 ap\u0103 argintat\u0103 d\u0103 la Regulane, direct din pu\u021ba lui Hercule \u0219i o s\u0103 vezi cum cad du\u0219manii mata p\u0103 strad\u0103 c\u00eend treci, musai, p\u0103 jos. Nu cu ma\u0219ina, c\u0103 \u0219amanii au inventat roata mai t\u00eerziu… S\u0103 nu carecumva s\u0103 aud c\u0103 ca\u0219ti urechea la prostiile Trabantelei, care reprezint\u0103 efectul negativ al st\u0103rilor matale pozitive, c\u0103 nu s\u0103 prinde vraja \u0219i, mai r\u0103u, se-ntoarce-mpotriva mea, c\u0103 e secret d\u0103 stat ceea ce fac eu acuma.
\nVr\u0103jit fiind d\u0103 chintesen\u021ba pragului astronomic al z\u00eelei de ieri, azi \u0219i d\u0103 m\u00eeine am dat s\u0103-i scriu Culcu\u0219ic\u0103i un belet, s\u0103 se scoale diminea\u021ba \u0219i s\u0103 fiarb\u0103 un ou p\u0103 care s\u0103 scrie cu pixu un X mare, ca s\u0103 \u0219tiu care-i m\u00eena st\u00eeng\u0103.
\nCoane, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 vreau am auz\u00eet o parte de fr\u00eentura discu\u021biei cu Bogdaprostu \u0219i m\u0103 g\u00eendeam c\u0103 pot s\u0103 te-ajut eu cu coco\u0219u, zise tanti Nu\u021ba Cucu d\u0103 la ea din curte, \u0219i d\u0103\u0219chise poarta cu o m\u00een\u0103, c\u0103-n ailalt\u0103 \u021b\u00eenea un coco\u0219 d\u0103 g\u00eet, jumulit pe-o parte, d\u0103 parc\u0103 era via\u021ba mea amoroas\u0103… \u0218i taman c\u00eend m\u0103 preg\u0103team s\u0103 spun un pre\u021b pentru serviciul coco\u0219ului ei, d\u00een lungul str\u0103zii observai o siluet\u0103 sub\u021b\u00eere ca c\u0103r\u021bile mele necopertate, care avea \u00eentr-o m\u00een\u0103 un ou \u0219i \u00een cealalt\u0103 o carte d\u00een care citea o incanta\u021bie: Stimate domn cu musta\u021b\u0103\/ S\u0103 nu crezi pas\u0103rea crea\u021b\u0103\/ Nici Bogdaprostu d\u0103\u0219tept\/ C\u0103 \u0103\u0219tia te trage-n piept\/ Ascult\u0103 aici, la mine\/ C-o s\u0103 fie numai bine\/ \u0218i las\u0103-i pe agitatori\/ Care te streseaz\u0103-n zori…
\nAveam, deci, o trilem\u0103: Bogdaprostu, Trabantela \u0219i tanti Nu\u021ba Cucu, \u0219i un singur coco\u0219. Care se stresase at\u00eet d\u0103 mult d\u0103 musta\u021ba mea, c\u0103-ncepuse-a… gui\u021ba!
\nPINGUINU CU MUSTA\u021a\u0102<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A-nceput să mi se-ncrețască mustața, dă la o vreme, și cauza e stresu pricinuit dă tanti Nuța Cucu și Culcușica, după cum mi-a ghicit în ultima mea carte Bogdaprostu. Coane, bag samă că ești sub influența lupului dacic care stă melancolic pă steagu dă luptă al strămoșilor noștri zamolxieni, adică ai păr mult, da nu […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[826],"tags":[1616,993,475,539,1636],"class_list":["post-2856","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-coltu-pinguinului-2","tag-bogdaprostu","tag-culcusica","tag-pinguinu-cu-mustata","tag-tanti-nuta-cucu","tag-trabantela"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2856","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2856"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2856\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2856"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2856"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2856"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}