{"id":1431,"date":"2014-02-05T14:56:08","date_gmt":"2014-02-05T14:56:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/?p=1431"},"modified":"2014-02-05T14:56:08","modified_gmt":"2014-02-05T14:56:08","slug":"coltu-pinguinului-16","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/?p=1431","title":{"rendered":"Coltu pinguinului"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Suntem la m\u00eena naturii, mi-am spus c\u00eend am v\u0103zut c\u0103 z\u0103pada asta s-a g\u0103sit s\u0103 ne-ncurce socotelile cu prim\u0103vara care venise. \u201eCoane, ia pe Culcu\u015fica \u015fi ie\u015fi\u0163i la desz\u0103pezit, cu sz, c\u0103 m\u00eeine-poim\u00eeine se decreteaz\u0103 COD RO\u015eU \u015fi nu mai ie\u015fi\u0163i afar\u0103 din cas\u0103 de frica pesedeului. Z\u0103pada de-o str\u00eenge\u0163i a\u015fa, aleatoriu, pute\u0163i s-o folosi\u0163i \u015fi s\u0103 face\u0163i un protest spontan \u00eempotriva partidelor politice, c\u0103 prea multe culori au\u201c, m-a strigat, de peste gard, cu lopata-n m\u00een\u0103, tanti Nu\u0163a Cucu. Auzisem eu ceva d\u0103 z\u0103pad\u0103, albea\u0163\u0103 \u015fi alte chestii, da nu de la tanti Nu\u0163a, ci de la B\u0103s\u0103scu al nostru, pre\u015fedintele. P\u0103cat c\u0103 l-au u\u015fuit pedeli\u015ftii c\u0103, uite, acuma, m\u0103 v\u0103d silit s\u0103-mi caut preominent pentru viitorul meu politic. Parc-au \u00eennebunit to\u0163i de c\u00eend a c\u0103zut avionu \u0103la \u00een care era-n legitim\u0103 ap\u0103rare Iovan, \u015fi nu \u00een\u0163\u0103l\u0103g, totu\u015fi, d\u0103 unde isteria asta-n mas\u0103 cu eroi \u015fi pesedi\u015fti infatua\u0163i. Din sursele mele sigure \u015ftiam c\u0103 o s\u0103 cad\u0103 ceva \u015fi o s\u0103 fie t\u0103mb\u0103l\u0103u, \u015fi mai \u015ftiu multe, da n-are rost s\u0103 vi le spui acuma, c\u0103 s\u0103 pierde farmecu. \u201eAuzi, tanti Nu\u0163a, \u015ftii ce m-am g\u00eendit: s\u0103 facem un Comitet al Oamenilor Muncii Str\u0103zii Impersonali, un fel de COMSI-COMSA a\u015fa mai fran\u0163uzesc, s\u0103 m-alege\u0163i pre\u015fedinte \u015fi s\u0103-ncepem s\u0103 lu\u0103m m\u0103suri cu urgia asta alb\u0103 care s-a ab\u0103tut peste noi, de nu mai vedem gre\u015felile pesedi\u015ftilor dec\u00e2t la beunuteve. Eu voi lua problema-n m\u00een\u0103, voi, lope\u0163ile, \u015fi s\u0103 purcedem, dar\u0103, la r\u0103zboiul cu mafia alb\u0103. Secretar\u0103 o s-o pun pe Culcu\u015fica mea, ea \u015ftie cel mai bine cine \u015fi ce d\u0103, cine \u015fi de und\u0103 d\u0103\u201c.<br \/>\nN-am apucat s\u0103 termin ideea c\u0103 a venit perceptoru s\u0103-mi achit taxa pentru folosirea, \u00een spa\u0163iul public, a materiei cenu\u015fii, tax\u0103 de care e vinovat tot Costel, primarul: \u201eToa\u015fu scriitor, las\u0103 matale comitetele oamenilor muncii \u015fi treci aici s\u0103-\u0163i deconspir cum e cu materia cenu\u015fie care \u015fade-n creieru DVS. \u015fi pe care o folosi\u0163i, \u00een mod voit, numai pentru o anumit\u0103 parte a polticii locale, ceea ce nu este corect fa\u0163\u0103 de contribuabil!\u201c<br \/>\nC\u00eend m\u0103 g\u00eendeam s\u0103-mi schimb ob\u0163iunea politic\u0103 am aluncat \u015fi-am c\u0103zut din pat, trezindu-m\u0103 dintr-un co\u015fmar mai alb ca z\u0103pada d\u0103 afar\u0103. M-am \u00eenchinat d\u0103 trei ori \u00een toate cele patru puncte cardinale \u015fi abia apoi, \u00eentr-un t\u00eerziu am observat c\u0103 Culcu\u015fica mea sfor\u0103ia, dezgolit\u0103 \u015fi alb\u0103 ca neaua, cum e idealu meu \u00een via\u0163\u0103, al vostru,<br \/>\nPINGUINU CU MUSTA\u0162\u0102<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Suntem la m&icirc;na naturii, mi-am spus c&icirc;nd am v&#259;zut c&#259; z&#259;pada asta s-a g&#259;sit s&#259; ne-ncurce socotelile cu prim&#259;vara care venise. &bdquo;Coane, ia pe Culcu&#351;ica &#351;i ie&#351;i&#355;i la desz&#259;pezit, cu sz, c&#259; m&icirc;ine-poim&icirc;ine se decreteaz&#259; COD RO&#350;U &#351;i nu mai ie&#351;i&#355;i afar&#259; din cas&#259; de frica pesedeului. Z&#259;pada de-o str&icirc;nge&#355;i a&#351;a, aleatoriu, pute&#355;i s-o folosi&#355;i [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[826],"tags":[476,1005,993,475,586],"class_list":["post-1431","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-coltu-pinguinului-2","tag-coltu-pinguinului","tag-costel","tag-culcusica","tag-pinguinu-cu-mustata","tag-primarul"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1431","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1431"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1431\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1431"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1431"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cronicadeseverin.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1431"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}